Day 46

3/13/2006
It's a long road behind me.
It's a long road ahead.
If you follow every dream, you might get lost.
If you follow every dream, 
you might...
get...
lost.
-- Neil Young, The Painter

When I learn a piece of music, I play it over and over, in the most self 
conscious way imaginable. Every movement, every nuance of angle, attack -- 
it is a most pedestrian activity. Repetitive, radically self conscious. The 
goal of such radical self consciousness is that one day the music, as it 
were, plays itself, and I am gone. The music plays itself. That is the goal 
of radical self consciousness, that the music plays itself; I am gone. How 
did I get gone? Through radical self consciousness, a kind of training for 
the self to dispense of self, training for the time when self recedes and the 
purity of the action only remains. The purity of the action only. First 
there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is a mountain. 
The purity of action only remains.
-- Rabbi James Stone Goodman


The journey begins in innocence. The mountain looks immense in the distance. Soon, one is well down the path with trees blocking the view of the mountain. The path goes up, and down, and farther up again. With each turn of the path, new connections of experience are forged. One discovers that the mountain does not exist; only the journey is real. Your are led beyond the treeline, and you again see the mountain-top above. When you have integrated your existence below the mountain (youth) and travelling up its side (middle-age), you can know non-mountain and mountain together (elder wisdom).

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